A Reflection on My Self-Reflection Assignment
The piece I shared for the multimodal self-reflection assignment was something I created a while back and have been reshaping over time. It’s essentially a slideshow of photographs with text (some poetry, some prose, some journaling-type writing) that connects to each photo I chose. It all centers on various identities or experience that contribute to the person I am, with some reflection on thoughts about my future. Here is a link to the slideshow, to view if you feel so inclined.
Each time I come back to this slideshow there are changes to make, because the way I feel about or relate to a particular past experience is constantly shifting and so, naturally, the way I want that experience to be represented also shifts.
For example, the first time I tried to write about the role that whiteness plays in my life it took me days to come up with something that felt even mildly accurate. Later, I realized that I had actually been censoring myself and not fully explaining the truth about my anxiety and anger surrounding the white side of my family. Later still, I had to edit it again because I had been dealing with some of that anxiety/anger and wanted that piece of my presentation to reflect my current state of mind.
After sharing the piece with Abbey and Noah in class, they helped me see where I can continue to expand my reflection. It was helpful to hear outside perspectives because they could point out blindspots I wasn’t conscious of, like the fact that a great deal of my presentation is about my family and our experiences as a unit, but there were only a few times when I spoke specifically to my personal perspectives. Also, that I mention my parents’ goal in moving us to Dubai (to bring us to a place where we would not be members of a marginalized minority), but I didn’t write about whether or not that move was successful in accomplishing their goal.
While I was grateful to have that feedback, the more I think about it the more I realize that those blindspots are aspects of my life that I must have been avoiding dealing with and that are actually difficult to confront. I honestly don’t know whether or not growing up in Dubai helped me feel more confident in my racial and religious identities, mostly because I have no idea who I would be if I had stayed in America for my whole life. Also, because this is really a question of self-confidence and self-assurance, and those are things I have struggled with (in general, not just as relevant to race and religion) for my whole life.
Similarly, the question of how I perceive my experiences as an individual and not just as a member of my family connects to a variety of related issues that I am confronting personally, and that I am not entirely ready to process with people I’ve only known for a few months. I do, however, think that I am ready to work on deepening the connections between my experiences and my teacher identity. That would be a helpful framework for the personal growth and reflection that this assignment calls for, as well as for preparing myself for the shenanigans I’ll be dealing with this time next year.
Each time I come back to this slideshow there are changes to make, because the way I feel about or relate to a particular past experience is constantly shifting and so, naturally, the way I want that experience to be represented also shifts.
For example, the first time I tried to write about the role that whiteness plays in my life it took me days to come up with something that felt even mildly accurate. Later, I realized that I had actually been censoring myself and not fully explaining the truth about my anxiety and anger surrounding the white side of my family. Later still, I had to edit it again because I had been dealing with some of that anxiety/anger and wanted that piece of my presentation to reflect my current state of mind.
After sharing the piece with Abbey and Noah in class, they helped me see where I can continue to expand my reflection. It was helpful to hear outside perspectives because they could point out blindspots I wasn’t conscious of, like the fact that a great deal of my presentation is about my family and our experiences as a unit, but there were only a few times when I spoke specifically to my personal perspectives. Also, that I mention my parents’ goal in moving us to Dubai (to bring us to a place where we would not be members of a marginalized minority), but I didn’t write about whether or not that move was successful in accomplishing their goal.
While I was grateful to have that feedback, the more I think about it the more I realize that those blindspots are aspects of my life that I must have been avoiding dealing with and that are actually difficult to confront. I honestly don’t know whether or not growing up in Dubai helped me feel more confident in my racial and religious identities, mostly because I have no idea who I would be if I had stayed in America for my whole life. Also, because this is really a question of self-confidence and self-assurance, and those are things I have struggled with (in general, not just as relevant to race and religion) for my whole life.
Similarly, the question of how I perceive my experiences as an individual and not just as a member of my family connects to a variety of related issues that I am confronting personally, and that I am not entirely ready to process with people I’ve only known for a few months. I do, however, think that I am ready to work on deepening the connections between my experiences and my teacher identity. That would be a helpful framework for the personal growth and reflection that this assignment calls for, as well as for preparing myself for the shenanigans I’ll be dealing with this time next year.
Leyla your project is super cool. For real. I had heard great things about it before and I'm glad that I signed up to comment on this so I could check it out. Your slideshow is moving, honestly. I loved it. The blend of poetry and prose works so well - I honestly wouldn't change anything about it.
ReplyDeleteI think your confrontation with the role whiteness plays in your life is a great point to discuss. We've been talking about identity SO MUCH during all of our classes so far, and while it has been a bit repetitive at times this is conversation that absolutely needs to be had. I'm thankful for the opportunity to get to know more about you through this assignment! Hopefully we can continue to do works like this in the future - they are crucial in coming to grips with our identities.